Thursday, August 21, 2008

Hope is a great word....

I am 16#s lighter and I think it all must be from the weight on my heart!
You see I have not been able to muster up the strength to even begin a diet for years, but I recently dropped my depression medicine and my blood pressure medicine (yes I weened off of them both) as they made me tired. I am also convinced they have made me obese! What an ugly word! Actually morbidly obese. Now that is downright scary but fitting.

I joined Sparkpeople (I am continuing to totally love this site) and it has all the tools and support one could ever want or need. Amazing that it is free, God bless them everyone!

Since then I have found that I am ADHD. Some of you probably already guessed this just by the way I write. I do it the same way I think. I mean have you ever known anyone who used "( )" so often? That is my mind wandering. I know I should just incorporate a new sentence but being queen of something is better than nought right?

Why would I share this find about myself? Because it is again a source of hope for me. After decades of knowing I am "wired" differently than the rest of the world it is nice to have it medically confirmed. It explains my disorganized thought processes, same with my lifestyle, why I can't listen to someone intently if there is any other sound in the room or motion for that matter. One other thing about us ADD folks, we are usually very creative. Hmm, anyone out there relating? Maybe you should do a study.

My pastor loaned me a book entitled "Driven to Distraction" and it was like someone peered inside my brain and took notes. In all my life I have never had a proper diagnosis. I have begun medicine to help. This could take awhile to get right. I am also learning how to better organize my life. That is hard because I am a "now" person. If it takes long term obligation and a lot of steps I will have to push myself. This is also typical of ADD/ADHD.

Now, I have two great things to add to my new found hope list.

First, since beginning my diet my blood pressure is in the good zone! No kidding! I haven't even lost a lot of weight (yet) but I did drop all the soda (pop) as well as candy, doughnuts, etc.

Second, the medicine they put me on has a certain side effect that can work for me, it is supposed to oppress the appetite! Hopefully that will prove true when they up my meds. I am on too low a dose at the moment to feel anything. BUT I have hope!

I now believe that I will get my studio organized again, get the garage emptied, and perhaps even get the kids back on track in their own rooms. My boy has ADD too, which is how I actually found out that I do.

I am expecting great changes.

Hey, btw, for those who know me almost too well, I quit demoing for the last couple of years because I kept breaking out in sweats. It was embarrassing to say the least. For the first time in a decade I was able to wear layers to church last Sunday without being overheated. Woohoo!

Look out world, Cindy is coming back and will be better than ever!


  1. Cindy... congrats on your weight loss.. that is wonderful.. 16 pounds is a LOT!Be proud.. it is enough to start a path for health! I lost a lot myself.. I know the dedication it takes.. and I know the rewards.. best of luck..

  2. CIndy, I want to say congrats on the weight loss, I know it is something that takes a lot of will power, and i seem to not have any right now......
    I hope you will be feeling better and better when the meds are where they are suppose to be...

    I know what you mean about wearing clothes......I suffer with Hot Flashes very badly, 4 years ago after chemo, THe menopause just crashed in on me.....I am hopeful that after one more year of the cancer drug Tamoxifen, that I can get off od it and the meno will not be as bad...

  3. Thanks for being so honest on your blog. Many others have issues too and your hope and joy will surely spread.